Karma . . . are you getting what you give?

Will they do the same? Will circumstances turn out better?

I have always believed in Karma a.k.a. the golden rule.  Growing up in my family this was taught, however it didn’t take long before I realized not everyone subscribed to this rule.  Sometimes not even in the same household!  You know that gem, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”    Apparently the other rule is “I’ll do whatever the heck I want and what’s it to ya?”    You see it in places you purchase items at times or occasionally when you go to Customer Silence Control – I mean Customer Service.  Mom and Dad taught it well though, so it was a way of life for me.  I have to say thank you to them for this as it is something my husband and I have tried to pass down to our children.  Sadly, they too have noticed in their generation not everyone upholds this rule.  On the upside, their friends who do, make life that much more enjoyable.

Does Karma really exist?  Is it all just the luck of the draw if we have good or bad happen to us or are we just a victim of our own circumstances?  Does God bless some more than others?   I have to admit, sometimes I felt a victim of my own circumstances.  There were, and probably still will be, times I feel God always says “no” to my prayers and turns a deaf ear to my family’s needs.  Some would say that is a lack of trust and faith but it is hard to stay positive when problems and disasters keep coming your way.  It is hard when Karma doesn’t seem to be working out.  The bad seem to get rewarded at times and those who strive to do good seem to get shanghaied.  Others may say, “Hey, if you look around someone always has it worse off than you.”  That statement doesn’t resonate as well when it’s you going through misery.  Last but not least I was told, “If you reflect or focus on what you are thankful for, you won’t have to worry about the disasters.”  I will reveal to you how rotten to the core I can be sometimes.  My answer back to that, in times of extreme trouble, is, “I will try to do that”, as the roof literally comes crumbling down and water pours into my house daily.   I will continue giving thanks that I am alive to experience a court system that stands up for large companies who steal others’ money, lie in court,  then win their case in spite of photo evidence because the town is known for delving into dirty practices and bribes.   I will be ever grateful as I am forced to pay a company that lies and does poor work and still gets paid.   The other side of the coin is, I do believe in giving thanks for what I have.  I thank God every night for the family I have under my roof, the family members we are close to, and friends who have given us their love and support.   Gratitude is important and should simply be a way of life.  In spite of it all, it seemed Karma just wasn’t working out.  What were we doing wrong?

I realize I sound just a LITTLE bitter.  Well, the truth is, I was.  Just like many of you, as stated in previous posts, my family had an inordinate amount of disasters and trials come our way.   I have always considered myself a realist and adhered strongly to the saying, “hope for the worst, then if it turns out better . . . what a surprise for you.”  The addendum to this special saying for me was,  “That way circumstances can’t get ya.  You already expected it to happen poorly.”  This is the way I have lived most of my life and I have really believed in this saying.  It seemed to work.  Disappointment was already expected so fate had not pulled one over on me!  Life is hard but life is supposed to be hard for people like me isn’t it?  Well, until recently, I firmly believed this.

My family would tell me I was just a downer and I would say, “no, I am a realist!   All of us would do better in life if you would just face reality instead of living it through rose colored glasses.”  That was my pat response and defense on my way of thinking.  Of course I tried to tell my kids to stay positive when things didn’t work out for them but it was hard for them to believe when all they heard from me was, “things are supposed to turn out badly.”  I also told them that hopefully they could escape what seemed to be a kind of family curse and God definitely loved them more than me so there was indeed hope for them.

So how can a 40+ year old person (I still consider myself early 40’s – I am a positive thinker now!) so quickly leave behind this fundamental way of thinking and existing?   Off topic, but I just got another bonus.  I asked my husband how old I am and he said 43.  I thought I was 44 but that didn’t sound quite right.  That is another positive; as we get older we don’t even realize what our age is.  I’m Lovin’ these new rose colored glasses!

Believe it or not, as more water was pouring into my house, I did a turn around in my thinking.  I must tell you, if you have not read my earlier posts, this is two residences after the home where Sherrif Goslin didn’t properly install a roof or repair the damage caused from that incident.   Yet we were court ordered to pay them anyway.  Fast forward to present.   This past week my husband walked into the back room of our basement, the room directly under the kitchen, and water was pouring through the top of a daylight basement window all over the carpet.  At least half of the room was wet.  My normal way of dealing with this is to panic.  As I am going for the “Mom of the year award”, I simply gave the best words of wisdom I could conjure up.   “Oh, dear God, what are we going to do now?”  My oldest is such a gift.  She hugs me and tells me it will be okay.  How did such a sweet, positive child persevere through all this insanity?  Then, just in case some other well meaning member of my family chimed in with something positive, I reminded everyone less than three weeks ago we had just recovered from another water disaster of a plugged basement pipe where water was seeping under the carpet so we were due for more.  As I started to go down my usual road of despair it dawned on me, in order to prepare myself, I have spent so much time thinking and wondering what the next disaster would be I was not prepared, and no more ahead today, than I was for all of our previous trials.  I wanted it to stop.  I NEEDED it to stop.  So, to my family’s utter amazement, I stopped reminding everyone about how trouble seems to come our way.  In other words I finally just shut up.    It didn’t come easy.  As I wallowed in despair trying to figure out why we hadn’t come to the back room sooner, or what prevention steps we should have taken, it dawned on me; We have no absolute control in this life and I am going to be okay with that.  Why did I always consider it my DUTY to inform the family of the enormity of the situation?  Why was I so concerned that they wouldn’t understand all the implications and how we were not going to benefit from this problem?  They already see for themselves it stinks!  Literally, it stunk.

As a side note, apparently when the people built the house they did not seal a connection where the pipe bent to go another direction.  Apparently this is a common way of doing it in some homes just in case there is a clog.   So this was the pipe for the kitchen sink.  Think dishwasher, garbage disposal all gross, filthy water heading down into the walls and carpeted floors.   NASTY SMELL!  For us, we preferred the sealed pipe.

Back to my conversion from reality to positivity.   The alternative was to wait for the next disaster.  What if I had been doing it all wrong?   We know from physics that thoughts are energy.  What if I had been contributing to my own disasters by giving them priority in my thinking?  Wouldn’t it be better to expend all of that energy in positive thought?  At least now I can be happier with the view from my new rose colored glasses.  I have to say things do look much shinier in this new realm.  Now, I’m going to get in there and fight those disasters and try to beat ‘em off with a stick.  Why should the bad side win?  I’ll not help out by giving voice to it.

As a recovering realist (okay, fine negative person if you will) I have been doing very well in my 2 step program.  My old way of thinking starts to come back when I realize that a toilet is broken, the tub still won’t drain correctly, and even my normally positive husband is saying that water will be the downfall in the house we are in now.  I start to agree and then remember the second step – Negative thoughts will still come in this new realm but there is still time to beat the negativity by putting a positive thought out there.  Sure enough I make a statement that, prior to my earlier conversion, was unheard of in my home.  I say “You will get all the water problems fixed Nathan  and we won’t continue to have problems.”  Do I really believe this?  I am trying.  It is hard to throw years of a fundamental belief system down the drain.

Ha, we had three drain problems but who is counting in the new realm.   Sorry…that was really bad.  I find humor in the oddest places.  That must be residual from my old lifestyle.  It is difficult for common sense and experience not to overtake my thoughts but that wasn’t working for me.  There is a feeling that even if positive thinking doesn’t work, maybe I can be happy having the hope of such an ideal.  Plus, I feel that I do contribute something to how I am living my life rather than polluting up the atmosphere with my realism.  Ahem, excuse me, I mean my negativity.

If you are a hard core realist I encourage you to give this whole positive thing a go.  It’s fairly invigorating.  Did the air conditioner give out in your car on a hot day?  Don’t start talking to yourself and saying things like, “of course, why would I expect anything else?”   That is the old you.   Instead say, “What a wonderful thing it is having the opportunity to roll my windows down and enjoy the breeze.”  Yes, it is hot air, a lot like the hot air coming from traffic while commuters flip people off and yell profanities, but it is still a breeze.  Some people don’t even have a breeze.

So maybe I went a little too far down the lane wearing those special glasses but you get what I’m saying.  Immediately go to step 2 and turn that negative around.   You, after all, will be out of this traffic soon safe at home where you can continue living your dreams by attending to your water problems.  You will think your way out of your water problems soon enough.  As my husband skillfully fixes the issue I think to myself (due to my new positive thinking) he is slowly and surely fixing every water problem.  He has even told me how amazed he was at how I handled the last disaster…ahem “challenge”, and if nothing else – this spurs me on in the new world.  Soon water problems will be a thing of the past.  If they are not, I will be happier dreaming that the day will come that, instead of contributing to the downfall, I contribute to the solution by believing there really is an upside.

Maybe some of you can help me out.  How do you navigate your disasters?  I’m sorry.  I meant “challenges” as they are known in this rose colored realm.  I would love to hear your comments and experiences.

The positives that came this week are, we pulled in enough money with the family business to pay for school supplies and lunches as my youngest started school last week.  I started worrying…I mean I started giving meaningful thought to (that is what I should say as a converted dreamer) my next daughter starting school and her needing school supplies and lunch money as well.  Through my positive thinking I got a few extra sales and will be able to get what is needed.  Hey, someday my positive thinking will help our business grow enough to fix our country’s social security blunder. Oops, I mean mathematical error.  That still isn’t quite right.  Let me think…  As a new positivist we will help social security out and make sure we can take care of ourselves.  There it is!  That is the upside.  Social security does work.  It teaches self sufficiency as we remind ourselves there won’t be any left when we are too old to work!   Busy, busy, busy.  I must work on positive thoughts today!  I’m putting on the special glasses pronto before I start analyzing too much again.

Aaah, the view from here is much better now!  Please leave thoughts and comments.  Anxious to hear how you all navigate life!    Have a great week!

One of our exclusive designs sold this week to help with school supplies and lunches.  http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistiquejewelry

The 2nd design created because we couldn’t keep up with orders for the larger floating opal last year. Stock runs out quickly as we approach the holidays.

Ordered and shipped last week! Best seller during fall and Christmas last year.
Gearing up for an even greater year!

Yes! We were able to get school supplies and have lunch money for the girls! Thanks to my family for working together as a team!

pay for school supplies and lunches! http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistiquejewelry

Items sold this week to help with school supplies and lunches!

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Dragonfly twisted tail Victorian Ring Wrap! Done in antiqued gold, antiqued copper and oxidized sterling silver finish.

18mm opal best seller from fall through Christmas last year on eBay and at

Another design that helped with money for school supplies!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistiquejewelry

Stay at home moms vs. working moms.

Can we really do it all!

 Moms.  Can we reallydo it all?  The age old question . . . in some respects we have to do it all, don’t we?  A wise man once said, the eleventh commandment is “Be ye balanced”.  I think of this often.  Most mothers want to put parenting first, but the dilemma comes when we cannot afford to be a stay at home mom.  Our family faced this common problem a few years back as the economy took a down turn.

Our family began while I was a teacher at a school in New Mexico.  I had always known I would be the one to stay at home and take care of my children.  It was too heartbreaking when I did try to put my daughter in day care just for a few hours to take a part time job.  My husband and I didn’t like how different she seemed when we would pick her up from day care, and she was only 13 months old.  Her behavior wasn’t bad, just withdrawn for a period after she was picked up.  We chose to make the sacrifice of one full time income so I could be a full time stay at home mom.  I did preschool at home and taught both of our daughters to read by age three.  As a teacher, I fully believe in early childhood education.  The road to delving into full time motherhood is not for the faint of heart; every parent, whether working outside the home or at home, knows the trials that go right along with that everlasting love for a child.   It is just like life . . . there is no perfect world.  As most of us already know, it takes personal and financial sacrifice to be a stay at home mom.  Most of the time we lived with only one vehicle, and purchased only clearance or used clothing, second hand furniture, coupons and store brands at grocery stores. We lived on less all around.  It wasn’t always fun, but we were together.

In this imperfect world, not everyone, even when attempting to make the sacrifice to stay at home, can do it.  I feel badly for the moms, whether at home or at work, who wish for a better way.  Our time came when my husband’s company downsized.  Thankfully, he did not lose his job, but salary cuts came, and incentive programs were banished.  Not long after that, a personal disaster came our way, so part time employment from my end would not be enough to help make ends meet.   As a homeschooling mom, I supplemented our income by taking jobs cleaning houses.  I worked for kind families who allowed me to bring my children, along with their lessons for the day, to their home.  We are blessed with well behaved children (well, at least in public).  They would do their lessons and even help with some of the cleaning.  I was also fortunate enough to have family support, and my mom’s house was another place the children often went to do their lessons while I worked.   As the need arose for more income, I knew I would have to put all my energy into running a home based business rather than scattering myself throughout part time jobs.   That’s when I decided to take my part time business to a different level.  I came up with a better business name, and started learning about branding and photography (a must for selling online).  I will be posting tips for this in a later post.

I found a local boutique where the owner was willing to put my designs in her store.  We work on a percentage basis, and that way she does not have to purchase stock and then be stuck with anything that does not sell.  Subscribe to our blog for a later post on how to do this where you create a Win/Win situation.

The added focus paid off.  My goal was to get consistent sales as the designer and owner of Artistique Jewelry.  I found out how to get consistent sells through eBay, and not just my Etsy store (Etsy can be very slow).  I also began learning SEO and forced myself to become more social media savvy.  I am still the “new kid on the block”, and I try to learn from all the professionals out there who have been blogging, Tweeting, and Facebooking forever now.  Am I getting rich?  Hardly.  That would be nice, but it’s not a reality.  Are we paying the bills?  Sometimes barely, but yes, we are!  In this economy that isn’t too shabby.   Would I rather have the safety net of a salary with an established company?  Absolutely, but I would end up giving up what little time I have with my children.  In this economy, those companies are no guarantee, so it would not be worth the sacrifice.

I realize in my effort to “do it all”, I sometimes have to force myself to do things that are not in my comfort zone.   I hate face-to-face sales, and do not like being on the computer for very long.   I constantly tell myself, “Do you want to work and also be available for the kids, or work in a classroom and always be away?”   As many of you, I have the tendency to pour myself fully into what I take on.  I knew I would struggle with more guilt if I was out of the house working.  This way, I can always take a break to hug my kids once in a while.  I’ve even gotten to where I will stop and ride a bike with my youngest, and then get right back to work.  Or stop working at night and give in to the pleas of my oldest to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender.    Some days I am good and stop work after I have gotten orders out to the post office and run errands for supper fixings and home supplies.   Other days, I despise myself as a boss as I am forced to continue photographing, editing, listing and Tweeting my designs or other eBay wares.  As I tell people, the great part is the majority of my work is at home so it’s always available.   The downside is . . . it’s always there with no escape.  As an obsessive, compulsive person that takes after my workaholic dad, it is a challenge that I still haven’t mastered.  “Be ye balanced” is a daily struggle.

As a person who loves efficiency, I try to combine a little family time with work.  My oldest does a lot of modeling as jewelry and clothing sell better with live models.  Since I cannot afford such a luxury, Cassie to the rescue.  My youngest daughter helps with shipping, often scrambling up to the top level to get print work or cut labels for me.  They also help make boxes for packaging, set up for shows, organize materials, help maintain various social media and art sites, keep me company on trips to the post office or trips for supplies, and most importantly love and support me while trying to deter a breakdown.  I stop once in a while when the girls go with me for a happy hour shake at Steak and Shake (half off drinks from 2-4 on weekdays).  This gives them a special treat for all they do.  My husband is my all around “go to guy”.  He says he won’t design it (the jewelry), but he is my technical support and will do any other task no matter how menial.  It is ironic that he is a computer analyst who is dubbed “the miracle worker” with both hardware and software.  I fight technology and would be better suited for an Amish lifestyle, which I admire very much.   However, my family will not allow this to happen as my girls take after their father.  My family is my life.

So, back to the proverbial question; as moms, can we really do it all?  Am I really ‘doing it all’?  I so want to, but right now I am sitting here typing this while hiding out in a quiet room,  just praying for no interruptions so I can finish it and get orders out.   I have just been paged by my youngest.  “Momma, momma, where are you?”  Me, immediate guilt (refer to list).   She is pacified if I make weird noises that make her laugh.   You see, I have known for some time that as a small business owner it is to my advantage to have a blog.  To try to inform the public and clients about who I am and what I’m all about.  I have been so busy trying to keep up with everything else that I had put this on the back burner.   This l0ng explanation would just bore her, weird noises . . . now those are somehow relatable  to a 12 year old.

As I continue writing, the guilt does not end.  My girls are off for the summer.  I did greet them when they got up this morning, and I talk to them while answering customer questions and listing items on Etsy and eBay.  I know I am supposed to be “living in the moment” and being present.  I don’t know how to constantly do that plus pay the bills.  What does a mother do?   I  started making  a list of what I do with my children that is not work related.  I am starting one for today based on yesterday in an attempt to alleviate the ever piling guilt.

August 6, 2012 non- work related activities with the girls a.k.a. Guilt Deflection LIST

1)       Offered for either daughter to go to post office to ship orders . . . declined because air conditioner in car does not work and still having triple temps..   They don’t like looking like they just came from the swimming pool.   Me, I am beyond caring and have succumbed to going out less than perfectly made up.    I am sure to remind them when they say that I shouldn’t work all the time,  they could have spent time with me at the post office.  You see, this helps to disperse the guilt and deflect it away from me.  It is like a short term pain killer.   A gel Advil if you will.

2)      Came home from post office and grocery shopping at 6:30 and, while making supper, stopped when I saw Kelsey outside checking the tomato plants.  Talked her into watering with me and made a game of spraying her with the hose.  BONUS: drought condition  yard and flowers got watered.  Kelsey LOVED it.

3)        At 9:15 Watched Warehouse 13, which personally I thought was a little on the weak side this week (definitely a filler episode).  I did put my laptop down and stopped working the business, so I was present.  The girls hate it when we watch a family show and I am on the laptop at the same time.   I was good last night.

4)      Talked to the girls before going to bed.  We all three sat on my bed and I was entertained about stories from Avatar from my youngest.  A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do!

Okay, now I will admit it was a little sketchy yesterday, with work time far outweighing mom time.  So maybe today I can throw in a run with Cassie in the evening and a bike ride with Kelsey to the park.   That is unless I am too tired and offer to wade through an Avatar viewing so I can rest.  The list does help the nagging guilt feeling a little since I can look at the positives and try not to dwell on what I cannot help.

Am I doing it all?  No.  But I’m definitely loving my kids and striving to be the best mom and business owner in spite of all my mistakes.  I may be working, like all moms have to, but hey, I am available at the house generally.  If my kids really need me I can be found hiding somewhere around the house trying to complete my work.  When this happens, I guilt them into helping me so we can finish and maybe go do something fun.  Teamwork and deflecting the guilt . . . yes, I think we CAN do it all!

Please leave your comments.  We would love to hear from you.  How do you do it all if you are a stay at home mom.  What about you moms working both outside the home and at home?  Would love your tips, tricks and stories of survival!

Coming soon, tips and tricks to help you on your journey of “doing it all”

I found a local store where the store owner was willing to put my designs in her store.  We work on a percentage basis so that she does not have to purchase stock and be stuck with anything that does not sell.  Subscribe to our blog for a later post on how to do this with your designs or hand crafted items.  Our designs may be found in Na Rie Simple Treasures in downtown Plymouth, IN and at http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistiquejewelry

LIKE us at http://www.facebook.com/artistiquejewelry to win free items in drawings!

Can we really do it all!

Free Family Activities in your state

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Free Family Activities in your state

This literally floated through our backyard

Ah, summer . . .does it have to come to a close?  Our summer has flown by.  Between running the family business, inserting in a camping/family trip to another state, and well . . . life, it went as quickly as I thought it would.  I love having my girls home and would definitely consider homeschooling again if the business didn’t require so much of my time.  Our family is thankful to be busy and paying the bills though.

So, between your busy schedule of trying to make a living, don’t forget to make a LIFE. Try taking a walk around the neighborhood or riding bikes as a family.  Go to the park and check out the trails.  Go out in the back yard and throw any ball around.   Go on a tent camping trip with basic supplies sans the camper so you can enjoy the outdoors and talking around a  campfire.   Many parks offer free movies, so take a blanket with snacks and have fun.   Take breaks to do activities with your kids while you can.  Drop what your doing, rearrange your schedule.  I have to remind myself of this almost daily as the to do list constantly nags.   When they stop asking, YOU start asking as they get older.   Summer is fleeting and so is childhood. . . family time is waiting.

At the close of this summer, we have gained a greater appreciation for the state we live in.  Since we are always so busy, we took our anniversary time to take advantage of a wonderful place we knew even the kids would enjoy.  The Art Museum.  If your state is like our great state, they offer free admission days.  Our Museum is filled with 4 floors of mesmerizing art.  From classic works to contemporary, artists even combined science and technology in some of their structures.  We all had a great time, spent hours there and still didn’t see everything.   Keep your Art Museum in mind as an economical family trip.  The bonus is you don’t have to travel far!

Another great, yet free experience was having a hot air balloon float literally through our back yard.  This was just a stroke of luck.  We don’t live to far from a historical theme park so we got a lucky break.   Absolutely mesmerizing.   We lived in one of the other best states where they hold a balloon fiesta and I never had one come this close to our home.   The heartland of America truly is a great place to rear a family.

To see gift ideas for all occasions go to http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistiquejewelry

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