Can we really do it all!
Moms. Can we
reallydo it all? The age old question . . . in some respects we have to do it all, don’t we? A wise man once said, the eleventh commandment is “Be ye balanced”. I think of this often. Most mothers want to put parenting first, but the dilemma comes when we cannot afford to be a stay at home mom. Our family faced this common problem a few years back as the economy took a down turn.
Our family began while I was a teacher at a school in New Mexico. I had always known I would be the one to stay at home and take care of my children. It was too heartbreaking when I did try to put my daughter in day care just for a few hours to take a part time job. My husband and I didn’t like how different she seemed when we would pick her up from day care, and she was only 13 months old. Her behavior wasn’t bad, just withdrawn for a period after she was picked up. We chose to make the sacrifice of one full time income so I could be a full time stay at home mom. I did preschool at home and taught both of our daughters to read by age three. As a teacher, I fully believe in early childhood education. The road to delving into full time motherhood is not for the faint of heart; every parent, whether working outside the home or at home, knows the trials that go right along with that everlasting love for a child. It is just like life . . . there is no perfect world. As most of us already know, it takes personal and financial sacrifice to be a stay at home mom. Most of the time we lived with only one vehicle, and purchased only clearance or used clothing, second hand furniture, coupons and store brands at grocery stores. We lived on less all around. It wasn’t always fun, but we were together.
In this imperfect world, not everyone, even when attempting to make the sacrifice to stay at home, can do it. I feel badly for the moms, whether at home or at work, who wish for a better way. Our time came when my husband’s company downsized. Thankfully, he did not lose his job, but salary cuts came, and incentive programs were banished. Not long after that, a personal disaster came our way, so part time employment from my end would not be enough to help make ends meet. As a homeschooling mom, I supplemented our income by taking jobs cleaning houses. I worked for kind families who allowed me to bring my children, along with their lessons for the day, to their home. We are blessed with well behaved children (well, at least in public). They would do their lessons and even help with some of the cleaning. I was also fortunate enough to have family support, and my mom’s house was another place the children often went to do their lessons while I worked. As the need arose for more income, I knew I would have to put all my energy into running a home based business rather than scattering myself throughout part time jobs. That’s when I decided to take my part time business to a different level. I came up with a better business name, and started learning about branding and photography (a must for selling online). I will be posting tips for this in a later post.
I found a local boutique where the owner was willing to put my designs in her store. We work on a percentage basis, and that way she does not have to purchase stock and then be stuck with anything that does not sell. Subscribe to our blog for a later post on how to do this where you create a Win/Win situation.
The added focus paid off. My goal was to get consistent sales as the designer and owner of Artistique Jewelry. I found out how to get consistent sells through eBay, and not just my Etsy store (Etsy can be very slow). I also began learning SEO and forced myself to become more social media savvy. I am still the “new kid on the block”, and I try to learn from all the professionals out there who have been blogging, Tweeting, and Facebooking forever now. Am I getting rich? Hardly. That would be nice, but it’s not a reality. Are we paying the bills? Sometimes barely, but yes, we are! In this economy that isn’t too shabby. Would I rather have the safety net of a salary with an established company? Absolutely, but I would end up giving up what little time I have with my children. In this economy, those companies are no guarantee, so it would not be worth the sacrifice.
I realize in my effort to “do it all”, I sometimes have to force myself to do things that are not in my comfort zone. I hate face-to-face sales, and do not like being on the computer for very long. I constantly tell myself, “Do you want to work and also be available for the kids, or work in a classroom and always be away?” As many of you, I have the tendency to pour myself fully into what I take on. I knew I would struggle with more guilt if I was out of the house working. This way, I can always take a break to hug my kids once in a while. I’ve even gotten to where I will stop and ride a bike with my youngest, and then get right back to work. Or stop working at night and give in to the pleas of my oldest to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. Some days I am good and stop work after I have gotten orders out to the post office and run errands for supper fixings and home supplies. Other days, I despise myself as a boss as I am forced to continue photographing, editing, listing and Tweeting my designs or other eBay wares. As I tell people, the great part is the majority of my work is at home so it’s always available. The downside is . . . it’s always there with no escape. As an obsessive, compulsive person that takes after my workaholic dad, it is a challenge that I still haven’t mastered. “Be ye balanced” is a daily struggle.
As a person who loves efficiency, I try to combine a little family time with work. My oldest does a lot of modeling as jewelry and clothing sell better with live models. Since I cannot afford such a luxury, Cassie to the rescue. My youngest daughter helps with shipping, often scrambling up to the top level to get print work or cut labels for me. They also help make boxes for packaging, set up for shows, organize materials, help maintain various social media and art sites, keep me company on trips to the post office or trips for supplies, and most importantly love and support me while trying to deter a breakdown. I stop once in a while when the girls go with me for a happy hour shake at Steak and Shake (half off drinks from 2-4 on weekdays). This gives them a special treat for all they do. My husband is my all around “go to guy”. He says he won’t design it (the jewelry), but he is my technical support and will do any other task no matter how menial. It is ironic that he is a computer analyst who is dubbed “the miracle worker” with both hardware and software. I fight technology and would be better suited for an Amish lifestyle, which I admire very much. However, my family will not allow this to happen as my girls take after their father. My family is my life.
So, back to the proverbial question; as moms, can we really do it all? Am I really ‘doing it all’? I so want to, but right now I am sitting here typing this while hiding out in a quiet room, just praying for no interruptions so I can finish it and get orders out. I have just been paged by my youngest. “Momma, momma, where are you?” Me, immediate guilt (refer to list). She is pacified if I make weird noises that make her laugh. You see, I have known for some time that as a small business owner it is to my advantage to have a blog. To try to inform the public and clients about who I am and what I’m all about. I have been so busy trying to keep up with everything else that I had put this on the back burner. This l0ng explanation would just bore her, weird noises . . . now those are somehow relatable to a 12 year old.
As I continue writing, the guilt does not end. My girls are off for the summer. I did greet them when they got up this morning, and I talk to them while answering customer questions and listing items on Etsy and eBay. I know I am supposed to be “living in the moment” and being present. I don’t know how to constantly do that plus pay the bills. What does a mother do? I started making a list of what I do with my children that is not work related. I am starting one for today based on yesterday in an attempt to alleviate the ever piling guilt.
August 6, 2012 non- work related activities with the girls a.k.a. Guilt Deflection LIST
1) Offered for either daughter to go to post office to ship orders . . . declined because air conditioner in car does not work and still having triple temps.. They don’t like looking like they just came from the swimming pool. Me, I am beyond caring and have succumbed to going out less than perfectly made up. I am sure to remind them when they say that I shouldn’t work all the time, they could have spent time with me at the post office. You see, this helps to disperse the guilt and deflect it away from me. It is like a short term pain killer. A gel Advil if you will.
2) Came home from post office and grocery shopping at 6:30 and, while making supper, stopped when I saw Kelsey outside checking the tomato plants. Talked her into watering with me and made a game of spraying her with the hose. BONUS: drought condition yard and flowers got watered. Kelsey LOVED it.
3) At 9:15 Watched Warehouse 13, which personally I thought was a little on the weak side this week (definitely a filler episode). I did put my laptop down and stopped working the business, so I was present. The girls hate it when we watch a family show and I am on the laptop at the same time. I was good last night.
4) Talked to the girls before going to bed. We all three sat on my bed and I was entertained about stories from Avatar from my youngest. A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do!
Okay, now I will admit it was a little sketchy yesterday, with work time far outweighing mom time. So maybe today I can throw in a run with Cassie in the evening and a bike ride with Kelsey to the park. That is unless I am too tired and offer to wade through an Avatar viewing so I can rest. The list does help the nagging guilt feeling a little since I can look at the positives and try not to dwell on what I cannot help.
Am I doing it all? No. But I’m definitely loving my kids and striving to be the best mom and business owner in spite of all my mistakes. I may be working, like all moms have to, but hey, I am available at the house generally. If my kids really need me I can be found hiding somewhere around the house trying to complete my work. When this happens, I guilt them into helping me so we can finish and maybe go do something fun. Teamwork and deflecting the guilt . . . yes, I think we CAN do it all!
Please leave your comments. We would love to hear from you. How do you do it all if you are a stay at home mom. What about you moms working both outside the home and at home? Would love your tips, tricks and stories of survival!
Coming soon, tips and tricks to help you on your journey of “doing it all”
I found a local store where the store owner was willing to put my designs in her store. We work on a percentage basis so that she does not have to purchase stock and be stuck with anything that does not sell. Subscribe to our blog for a later post on how to do this with your designs or hand crafted items. Our designs may be found in Na Rie Simple Treasures in downtown Plymouth, IN and at http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistiquejewelry
LIKE us at http://www.facebook.com/artistiquejewelry to win free items in drawings!
thefamilyjewels4 
Stay at home moms vs. working moms.
Can we really do it all!
Our family began while I was a teacher at a school in New Mexico. I had always known I would be the one to stay at home and take care of my children. It was too heartbreaking when I did try to put my daughter in day care just for a few hours to take a part time job. My husband and I didn’t like how different she seemed when we would pick her up from day care, and she was only 13 months old. Her behavior wasn’t bad, just withdrawn for a period after she was picked up. We chose to make the sacrifice of one full time income so I could be a full time stay at home mom. I did preschool at home and taught both of our daughters to read by age three. As a teacher, I fully believe in early childhood education. The road to delving into full time motherhood is not for the faint of heart; every parent, whether working outside the home or at home, knows the trials that go right along with that everlasting love for a child. It is just like life . . . there is no perfect world. As most of us already know, it takes personal and financial sacrifice to be a stay at home mom. Most of the time we lived with only one vehicle, and purchased only clearance or used clothing, second hand furniture, coupons and store brands at grocery stores. We lived on less all around. It wasn’t always fun, but we were together.
In this imperfect world, not everyone, even when attempting to make the sacrifice to stay at home, can do it. I feel badly for the moms, whether at home or at work, who wish for a better way. Our time came when my husband’s company downsized. Thankfully, he did not lose his job, but salary cuts came, and incentive programs were banished. Not long after that, a personal disaster came our way, so part time employment from my end would not be enough to help make ends meet. As a homeschooling mom, I supplemented our income by taking jobs cleaning houses. I worked for kind families who allowed me to bring my children, along with their lessons for the day, to their home. We are blessed with well behaved children (well, at least in public). They would do their lessons and even help with some of the cleaning. I was also fortunate enough to have family support, and my mom’s house was another place the children often went to do their lessons while I worked. As the need arose for more income, I knew I would have to put all my energy into running a home based business rather than scattering myself throughout part time jobs. That’s when I decided to take my part time business to a different level. I came up with a better business name, and started learning about branding and photography (a must for selling online). I will be posting tips for this in a later post.
I found a local boutique where the owner was willing to put my designs in her store. We work on a percentage basis, and that way she does not have to purchase stock and then be stuck with anything that does not sell. Subscribe to our blog for a later post on how to do this where you create a Win/Win situation.
The added focus paid off. My goal was to get consistent sales as the designer and owner of Artistique Jewelry. I found out how to get consistent sells through eBay, and not just my Etsy store (Etsy can be very slow). I also began learning SEO and forced myself to become more social media savvy. I am still the “new kid on the block”, and I try to learn from all the professionals out there who have been blogging, Tweeting, and Facebooking forever now. Am I getting rich? Hardly. That would be nice, but it’s not a reality. Are we paying the bills? Sometimes barely, but yes, we are! In this economy that isn’t too shabby. Would I rather have the safety net of a salary with an established company? Absolutely, but I would end up giving up what little time I have with my children. In this economy, those companies are no guarantee, so it would not be worth the sacrifice.
I realize in my effort to “do it all”, I sometimes have to force myself to do things that are not in my comfort zone. I hate face-to-face sales, and do not like being on the computer for very long. I constantly tell myself, “Do you want to work and also be available for the kids, or work in a classroom and always be away?” As many of you, I have the tendency to pour myself fully into what I take on. I knew I would struggle with more guilt if I was out of the house working. This way, I can always take a break to hug my kids once in a while. I’ve even gotten to where I will stop and ride a bike with my youngest, and then get right back to work. Or stop working at night and give in to the pleas of my oldest to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. Some days I am good and stop work after I have gotten orders out to the post office and run errands for supper fixings and home supplies. Other days, I despise myself as a boss as I am forced to continue photographing, editing, listing and Tweeting my designs or other eBay wares. As I tell people, the great part is the majority of my work is at home so it’s always available. The downside is . . . it’s always there with no escape. As an obsessive, compulsive person that takes after my workaholic dad, it is a challenge that I still haven’t mastered. “Be ye balanced” is a daily struggle.
As a person who loves efficiency, I try to combine a little family time with work. My oldest does a lot of modeling as jewelry and clothing sell better with live models. Since I cannot afford such a luxury, Cassie to the rescue. My youngest daughter helps with shipping, often scrambling up to the top level to get print work or cut labels for me. They also help make boxes for packaging, set up for shows, organize materials, help maintain various social media and art sites, keep me company on trips to the post office or trips for supplies, and most importantly love and support me while trying to deter a breakdown. I stop once in a while when the girls go with me for a happy hour shake at Steak and Shake (half off drinks from 2-4 on weekdays). This gives them a special treat for all they do. My husband is my all around “go to guy”. He says he won’t design it (the jewelry), but he is my technical support and will do any other task no matter how menial. It is ironic that he is a computer analyst who is dubbed “the miracle worker” with both hardware and software. I fight technology and would be better suited for an Amish lifestyle, which I admire very much. However, my family will not allow this to happen as my girls take after their father. My family is my life.
So, back to the proverbial question; as moms, can we really do it all? Am I really ‘doing it all’? I so want to, but right now I am sitting here typing this while hiding out in a quiet room, just praying for no interruptions so I can finish it and get orders out. I have just been paged by my youngest. “Momma, momma, where are you?” Me, immediate guilt (refer to list). She is pacified if I make weird noises that make her laugh. You see, I have known for some time that as a small business owner it is to my advantage to have a blog. To try to inform the public and clients about who I am and what I’m all about. I have been so busy trying to keep up with everything else that I had put this on the back burner. This l0ng explanation would just bore her, weird noises . . . now those are somehow relatable to a 12 year old.
As I continue writing, the guilt does not end. My girls are off for the summer. I did greet them when they got up this morning, and I talk to them while answering customer questions and listing items on Etsy and eBay. I know I am supposed to be “living in the moment” and being present. I don’t know how to constantly do that plus pay the bills. What does a mother do? I started making a list of what I do with my children that is not work related. I am starting one for today based on yesterday in an attempt to alleviate the ever piling guilt.
August 6, 2012 non- work related activities with the girls a.k.a. Guilt Deflection LIST
1) Offered for either daughter to go to post office to ship orders . . . declined because air conditioner in car does not work and still having triple temps.. They don’t like looking like they just came from the swimming pool. Me, I am beyond caring and have succumbed to going out less than perfectly made up. I am sure to remind them when they say that I shouldn’t work all the time, they could have spent time with me at the post office. You see, this helps to disperse the guilt and deflect it away from me. It is like a short term pain killer. A gel Advil if you will.
2) Came home from post office and grocery shopping at 6:30 and, while making supper, stopped when I saw Kelsey outside checking the tomato plants. Talked her into watering with me and made a game of spraying her with the hose. BONUS: drought condition yard and flowers got watered. Kelsey LOVED it.
3) At 9:15 Watched Warehouse 13, which personally I thought was a little on the weak side this week (definitely a filler episode). I did put my laptop down and stopped working the business, so I was present. The girls hate it when we watch a family show and I am on the laptop at the same time. I was good last night.
4) Talked to the girls before going to bed. We all three sat on my bed and I was entertained about stories from Avatar from my youngest. A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do!
Okay, now I will admit it was a little sketchy yesterday, with work time far outweighing mom time. So maybe today I can throw in a run with Cassie in the evening and a bike ride with Kelsey to the park. That is unless I am too tired and offer to wade through an Avatar viewing so I can rest. The list does help the nagging guilt feeling a little since I can look at the positives and try not to dwell on what I cannot help.
Am I doing it all? No. But I’m definitely loving my kids and striving to be the best mom and business owner in spite of all my mistakes. I may be working, like all moms have to, but hey, I am available at the house generally. If my kids really need me I can be found hiding somewhere around the house trying to complete my work. When this happens, I guilt them into helping me so we can finish and maybe go do something fun. Teamwork and deflecting the guilt . . . yes, I think we CAN do it all!
Please leave your comments. We would love to hear from you. How do you do it all if you are a stay at home mom. What about you moms working both outside the home and at home? Would love your tips, tricks and stories of survival!
Coming soon, tips and tricks to help you on your journey of “doing it all”
I found a local store where the store owner was willing to put my designs in her store. We work on a percentage basis so that she does not have to purchase stock and be stuck with anything that does not sell. Subscribe to our blog for a later post on how to do this with your designs or hand crafted items. Our designs may be found in Na Rie Simple Treasures in downtown Plymouth, IN and at http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistiquejewelry
LIKE us at http://www.facebook.com/artistiquejewelry to win free items in drawings!
Share this:
Category:
family owned businesses, small business
Tagged with: